Darth Vader and the emperor final
by Lord Danaelus
Summary: Well here we are at the final. Dont worry Greivous will take over from palpy... REVIEW


**DARTH VADER AND THE EMPEROR (FINAL)**

**Well: Here we are at the final episode of this series. Fantastic wasn't it. Anyhoo, the adventures will continue, but with our favourite jedi hunting, four armed cyborg alien general.**

It was one fantastic day on Tatooine. The imperial sandtroopers had nearly become blind due to looking at Tatooine's twin suns for too long. They were on the hunt for the infamous son of a gun... Han Solo. "Inform Lord Vader that I'm hungry." The Captain of the Squad commanded. "What good will that do us huh? He'll only get crabby and start choking our petty insides with that magic trick he always does. It's a funny thing how no one ever manages to say that he's done it to them." One of the troops replied. The captain then agreed. "I suppose you're right. Let's just keep on a'looking."

Mean while on the AHEM... Life Star:

There was peril afoot. "Curse you trooper!" Darth Vader Screamed like a bansh...antha. "You just _had _to have that R/C car crash into the sheild generator. Now the whole station is collapsing upon itself and the CPU is threatening to self destruct if we don't get it a cup of bantha urine!"

Vader used his superior force powers to explode the trooper and pull out his stinky pinky intestinal tube. Vader used ummm... force inflate to blow it up and then he used ummm... force twist into a poodle and made a little intestine puppy. Darth vader just grabbed the next guy to pass by and gave him the grotesque item. "Happy umm errr Birthday!" Vader guessed as he had a brain thunderstorm. "Gee" the unimportant individual said, surprised. "I didn't expect anyone to care that it was truly my birthday."

"What?" Vader Questioned."How old?"

"39" The officer answered.

Because Darth Vader was a very merciless and somewhat **BOLD** man, He said to the officer: "Well, I heard that you start going bling at your age. HOIK!" Vader gouged out the poor officer's eyes and sent him on his way.

While on Dantooine Luke Skywalker was playing Droida. (soccer, just with C-3P0's head). "And it's Luke Skywalker with the Threepio head. He aims and..."

"FIRE!" A squad of imperial troops shot Luke.

"Oh Dear." Threepio exclaimed as artoo released a screamy beep. The droids, sorry droid and a head watched as the smouldering corpse of Luke Skywalker fell to the ground.

After the Galactic Empire had failed to grant the station it's bantha urine, it had since destroyed itself and many upon it. Darth Vader was one of the few survivors along with Governor Tarkin, Birthday boy, a few troops and our irrepressible Palpy. They all floated to the Palp Cave where Palpy B. Bear was waiting with the apple mobile. All 15 of them got into the apple mobile."Buckle up boys, this'll be a rough ride." Palpatine warned.

It was quite a smooth cruise to 'The Life Star ll' (Palpatine was known to make exagerations about his 'action-packed' life). This Station was nearly twice as big as the original, but batteries were not included and it was still under construction. Palpy was exhausted after this 'intreppid adventure' and dropped his 24hr cloak to hop into the bath. Everyone saw this wrinkly old gasbag and wretched at the site. Everyone but Palpy, Vader and Palpy's little stuffed sidekick got into the apple mobile and flew to Rhen Var where they all caught pneumonia and died.

Vader got into a comotion with Palpy because Vader was sick of Palpatine doing that. "We are losing an abundance of men because of you you wrinkly old sack of fat!" Vader exclaimed, annoyed.

"Well you have not got that smuggler for me yet so that I can travel trough time." Palpy replied.

"Well It's not like I can just pull him out of my pocket like this is it?" Vader put his hand into his pocket and pulled out Han solo. "Oh." Vader realised what he was doing and just did the whole sith lord thing and cut off Han's head and removed the large time machine that was about one meter in diameter from Han Solo's backside.

So the duo of sithyness travelled back to the time of STAR WARSR REVENGE OF THE SITHtm. As soon as they landed, palpy found himself in a lightning fight with himself. Darth Vader Found himself in a fight with Himself as a 23 year old jedi. After Vader (old) had destroyed Anakin, He found Himself in an argument with General Greivous about who's army was superior. After a moment of that cowboy crap had ended (you know, when the screen just goes to a view of their eyes squinting at one another) Greivous made a psychotic attempt to physically hurt Darth Vader. He leapt at him at about 50 kp/h and split his arms into halves, except the problem with greivous is that whenever he divides his arms, he does it too quickly so he konked his head and knocked himself out. The sith lord dodn't want any trouble so he stuck one of the those sticky yellow notes on greivous's forehead that read: 'okay whatever. A better army you have not cough cough.'

Meanwhile the two palpy's had just fried each other to dust and bone and stinky burned flesh smell. The force fax was just getting sent via force power to Vader's mind. When Darth Vader had received this message of despair he cried out something to do with woodpeckers and passed out. When he woke up he asked the medical droid what he was doing here. Greivous came up and shoved the skinny droid off to the side. Vader then asked: "What about Palpatine? Is he allright?" Greivous replied after having a cackle to himself "It seems that you have destroyed him in your anger. COUGH COUGH HACK!"

"I...I couldn't have. NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Vader screamed.

"No, I was ju- COUGH HACK COUGH! just pulling your leg. He killed himself. Coff."

"Noooooooooooooooooooooooo!" Vader yelled!

"What N-COUGH now?" Greivous Asked frustratedly.

Vader replied. "I spilled my espresso on my leg and it's HOT!

Later that day Greivous took the stress from Vader by taking him to Giovanni the ballet master. "Owkay boysth letsth teach yew how tew ballet dance." Giovanni said enthusiastically. " A 1...2...3 123 123 123"

Vader had his tutu stuck around his face and he couldn't see. The Droid General on the other hand was getting carried away because he was stomping around on the roof making chunks of steel fall down and squish the dancers.

Vader was slashing around when he felt something touch the lightsabre blade. He turned off the lightsabre and removed the TuTu from his face only to realise that he'd cut Giovanni into five parts. He called out to Greivous who'd also reallised too. The Pair left the studio without making a peep but with haste.

**Well, i'm afraid that you'll not see palpatine again in my stories except when he posesses Palpy B Bear but youll have to wait for that. He has Been replaced by General Greivous. OOh I do not own star wars either. Star wars, Revenge of the sith and characters are trademarks of lucasfilm ltd. **


End file.
